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If this is what first quarter results are going to be like, count GlobalCapital out. Another bank with a pretty decent set of businesses, and another stonking loss. Credit Suisse appears to have taken after Deutsche in all of the wrong ways.

Bringing true Western style to a different terrain, the Ranger commandeered a contact's vehicle while riding her steed (a camel) across the Arabian desert.

Credit Suisse’s numbers were ugly, whichever way you slice them — a loss of Sfr6.4bn ($6.44bn), shares down 11%, bonuses down 36%. Even after “adjustments”, the bank still lost Sfr420m in its core businesses.

We in the banking industry always like to think of ourselves as charming, funny individuals. How could we not be, since most of us, bar the incomprehensible quants, earn our money by flogging stuff.

It’s been an axiom of recent bank restructurings that more private banking and wealth management is better. Gather the substantial and sticky deposits of the wealthy, harness their investments, and skim fees off the top, using as little balance sheet as possible. Dodge the tax evasion fines, and it’s a good and stable business to be in.

It is no coincidence that Tuesday’s €1bn covered bond from BPCE attracted more investors for a French seven year deal than at any time in the last year. The European Central Bank has started to scale back its purchases.

Another week, another bank exits a major European primary dealership. Problems that have been apparent for several years are now having tangible effects — and it is about time politicians took note.

The European Commission's group of ‘experts’ are making welcome steps towards unraveling the complexities of bank capital. But the multiplicity of loss-absorbing instruments exists for a reason — not everything can become tier two capital.

The first missed additional tier one (AT1) coupon payment may not be the harbinger of impending doom some think, but the implications for banks’ capital costs would be severe.

The future looks bright for China’s domestic bond market having started the year in full throttle with Shanghai Pudong Development Bank (SPDB) and Industrial Bank raising a combined Rmb30bn ($4.6bn). But while the volumes may be impressive, making sure issuers honour the green label will be the real test.

Donald Trump-esque behaviour pervaded the loan market last week and the Ranger spotted a number of clangers from market participants.

Deutsche Bank had a pretty dreadful 2015, and its boss, John Cryan hasn’t been shy about letting the market know. The bottom line was damaged most by litigation and restructuring, but look through to investment banking and things don’t get much better.