Dressing for success in the modern world
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Dressing for success in the modern world

To quote the late, great Karl Lagerfeld: “Sweatpants are a sign of defeat.” I only wish today’s youth would take those words of wisdom to heart.

Even in my retirement, I make sure to dress impeccably every day. I wouldn’t be caught dead wearing a t-shirt in public, let alone short sleeves. And trainers? They are for athletes and hobos, not gentlemen.

Sadly, the professional fashion standards of my day mean little in a world where tech billionaires dress like teenagers and ‘hipster fashion’ means little more than forgetting to shave.

It was with some sadness that I read the news from Goldman Sachs, which has apparently decided to appeal to millennials by letting them dress down. Just a few days ago, the new Goldman CEO David Solomon, or DJ D-Sol as he is also known to practically no-one, announced that his employees can now enjoy a relaxed office dress code.

No more suit jackets. No more ties. Just an abysmal acceptance of jeans and, dare I say it, Velcro? Solomon tempered his announcement with a vague wish for his bankers to dress “professionally” when meeting clients. But this loosey-goosey announcement to use “good judgement” for in-office clothing is a recipe for disaster.

With more than three-quarters of Goldman staff born after 1981, I fear that we are mere weeks away from an office attire of shorts and flip-flops. I cringe to think of having to look at a subordinate’s knobbly knees and exposed toes while crammed next to them in a lift. GSElevator will become a fashion blog.

My only hope is that the cyclical nature of fashion stands true, allowing proper trousers and belts to again become popular. Until then, stand strong, my fellow gentlemen, and don’t give in to the allure of the hoodie.

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