What's the latest news from 11, Madison Avenue, the besieged midtown HQ of Credit Suisse First Boston where new leader, John Mack, together with his second-in-command, Linda Robinson playing Joan of Arc, have been trying to keep the barbarians away from the gates? The news isn't encouraging. John Mack and Joan of Arc seem to be running out of ammo. Field Marshal Mack has been sending messenger carrier pigeons to Credit Suisse High Command in Switzerland, but they say they have no more ammo themselves and that the financial cupboard is barer than summer bottoms in St Tropez, after paying out their last Swiss francs to grasping moaning minnie shareholders. Just to make the situation worse, Supreme Allied Commander, Lukas Mühlemann, rarely answers his telephone and whenever he is spotted, he is chased by the Zurich street mob crying "off with his head". Can John Mack hold out before he and Joan of Arc need a change of armour? CSFB is certainly not mortally wounded, but it has more arrows sticking out of its back than a porcupine. The firm's problem, through no fault of Mack, is that there are no reinforcements riding in to save the day. Also, the usual quota of Swiss mercenaries have resigned en masse because they claim that they have not been paid and that they didn't much like CSFB anyway.
March 22, 2002