Loan Ranger

The European loan market is a pretty wide-ranging beat. Over the last few years, Loan Ranger learnt all about aluminium smelters in Siberia, the details of railway systems in the UK and just how a confectionary giant decides on which chocolates it produces.

Never one to let the fast pace of the City get in the way of in-depth understanding of the market, Loan Ranger took some time out on Wednesday to enjoy a leisurely lunch with RBS’s Simon Meldrum. We say leisurely, perhaps marathon is the word, given the relaxed attitude to service at our choice of restaurant — 1 Lombard Street.

It takes a lot to daunt Loan Ranger, but the view from Société Générale’s dining room did its best on the occasion of our meeting with Damien Lamoril and Ignacio Blasco. SG’s Tower Hill offices are perfectly placed to look over the City’s greatest examples of unbridled masculine architecture. The historic military clout of the Tower of London is inescapable from the top floor view, as is the highly suggestive Gherkin.

Although it’s not often that loans bankers are glad to hear the dulcet tones of Loan Ranger chiming over the phone line on a Thursday, this week our call through to BNP Paribas was welcomed as a chance for them to practice their recently revised media training.

Pickings are slim for Loan Ranger at the moment. Although he’s spent the last few weeks diligently searching for scurrilous gossip to tantalise you on a Monday — hoping to tease you with all the latest people moves and hirings in the market — it seems there’s been little going on even in the middle of bonus season.

Here at Loan Ranger we require very little to keep us happy. The occasional invite to get our retro groove on or the chance to watch senior bankers hang around the St Paul’s great unwashed is more than enough to keep smiles on our faces.

After battling through a two metre high pile of post, flowers and uncomfortable looking puppies with balloons tied to their collars this morning, Loan Ranger can only surmise that St Valentine’s Day is just around the corner.

A week on, and Loan Ranger has just about recovered from the 9th annual syndicated loans and leveraged finance awards held at London’s Guildhall. We’d like to thank everybody who came along for what was a very enjoyable evening.

If 2012 was shaping up to be a bad year for loans bankers, for one poor soul on syndicate it got a whole lot worse last week. Cycling into the office as he does every day, Tuesday’s downpour caught him by surprise, causing terrible traffic jams making the young pup late.

A certain vampire squid institution renowned for strong armed tactics came under the cosh in a City bar on Friday night. According to one excited loans banker, one fresh-out-of-university vampire squid was negotiating a restructuring. She had been told that no matter what, one point on the contract had to be amended.

Pity any poor investment grade loan bankers whose New Year’s resolutions were to be more productive in 2012. It must be pretty exhausting thinking of new ways to say “we’re optimistic that we’ll see more M&A this year”. And just think of all the paper cuts you get from shuffling piles of documents in an attempt to keep busy.

Loan Ranger is aquiver with anticipation at what 2012 will bring. A brand new year means a brand new set of balance sheets awaits. But while the start of the year often makes people giddy with the thought of all the opportunities out there for the next 12 months, this year the market appears much more downbeat. There’s still little dealflow in sight, and nobody expects underwriting or even bookrunning roles to pick up this year. Many people might like to put 2011 behind them, but for those in the leveraged market that still have those bridges hanging around like a bad smell, this is more easily said than done.