Can I ever escape the pull of the business?

Dear JWITIWO,

The Godfather III reference in your sign-off is apt, though perhaps not for the reason you think.

In the movie, Michael Corleone is pulled back by what he regards as a sense of obligation. In the world of capital markets, the pull tends to be something less noble and more intoxicating: the desire, even urge, to prove that you’ve “still got it”, that you haven’t lost your instincts, that you’re not a washed-up has-been, and that the market hasn’t moved on without you.

I’m sceptical you should go back.

Let me start with the most fragile part of your argument, which is the idea that turning down the offer somehow dents your credibility. That’s the story you’re telling yourself, and it doesn’t stand up even to mild scrutiny.

In this business, credibility doesn’t come from having a job — it comes from having reached recognisable milestones. It sounds like you have already done that, and you don’t lose this by stepping away.

If anything, the opposite tends to be true. Bankers who have ‘hit their number’ and actually stayed out of the business earn a certain respect.

People may not say it out loud, but they notice. They also understand that if you are being asked back after years away, it means the market still sees you as useful. That signal has been sent and you don’t need to accept the job to validate it.

So you can take ‘credibility’ off the table. It’s not a reason to go back.

The more interesting part of your letter is the pull you feel towards the work itself.

You mentioned the deal buzz, the travel and the pageantry of performance. That’s real, and I don’t deny it.

I have felt that special satisfaction from getting a transaction over the line, managing a client for a critical moment, and being in the middle of something big that matters to many other people and their balance sheets and reputations. It is heady and heavy stuff.

But it’s worth being honest about what exactly you’re missing.

What tends to linger in the memory after you leave is the front-of-house version of the job: the pitch, the client interaction, the moments when things come together.

What fades more quickly is everything that sits behind it: the internal fights, the compliance friction, the late stage surprises, the logistical snafus, the calls you don’t want to take but have to. None of that has improved with time. If anything, the industry has become more process-heavy and less forgiving.

When you were in it, you experienced the good, the bad and the ugly. Now, with some distance, you’re remembering an idealised or at least curated version. It’s just how memory works.

I also think there’s a practical point about seniority. The role you’re describing doesn’t sound like a selective re-entry where you get to dip in for the interesting parts. Senior posts come with full exposure. You’re not just doing deals — you’re accountable for pipelines, for teams, for clients who expect immediate access.

The phone comes back on, properly on. Emails have to be answered pronto or else the wrath from Mount Olympus comes down on you. Your time stops being entirely your own.

You say you like having no stress and owning your days. That’s not a small thing. In fact, it’s the thing most people in this industry are ultimately trying to buy, even if they never quite get there.

So the trade you’re considering isn’t simply “should I work again?” It’s “am I willing to give up a level of autonomy I’ve already secured, in exchange for a form of stimulation I remember well but haven’t lived with recently?”

That’s a different question, and a harder one.

You also mention the risk that, after time away, you may not have the appetite for the aggro. For what it’s worth, I’d take that concern seriously. The tolerance and resilience you had when you were fully immersed in the environment aren’t guaranteed to come back on demand. In fact, once you’ve stepped out and reset your baseline, the same pressures can feel more intrusive than they used to.

People often assume they can pick up where they left off. Sometimes they can — just look at Roy Hodgson, returning to Bristol City as manager 44 years after being fired the first time.

But just as often they find that what once felt normal now feels unnecessary.

That said, I don’t deny there’s an arguable case for going back, but it’s narrower in scope than you think. It has to be about the work itself. Not the status, not the validation, not the Fomo. The actual substance of what you’d be doing day to day.

If there’s something specific about this role that genuinely interests you — say, a set of clients, a type of transaction, a situation where you feel you could add something distinctive — then it’s worth exploring. Not because you need it, but because you want to do it.

If, on the other hand, the appeal is a more generalised sense of “it would be good to be back in the game,” or “I miss the energy,” I’d be cautious. Those are usually the weakest reasons to re-enter, and the ones most likely to disappoint once the reality sets in.

You’ve already done what most people in this industry don’t manage to do, which is step away on your own terms. You are operating from a position of strength. You can say yes if it genuinely adds something to your life, and no if it doesn’t.

That’s not a loss of credibility. That’s the whole point of having reached your number in the first place.

Best,

Craig