How to set up a hedge fund

A mate of mine is setting up a hedge fund — or trying to, at least. He’s done everything that could be expected of a man in his position. He has rented some fabulously swanky space in Mayfair & St James, given his fund a pretentious name of ambiguous pronunciation, engaged the services of a receptionist of breathtaking beauty and insouciance, spunked a load of his money on ill-advised corner-cutting exercises and then spunked a whole load more backtracking on them, employed several loafer friends of his as advisers, managers and operational stock-wallahs and written an investment philosophy that gives pure wind the appearance of solidity. Now all that remains for him is the demeaning necessity of finding some money to manage.