So who harpooned Allen "Weetabix" Wheat, the chairman and chief executive of CSFB? According to an inconsolable passing Japanese tourist Wheaty was speared with a three-pronged trident fork, brushed lightly with New Zealand butter and turned into toast in front of a blazing fire. No wonder that the tabloid press is bidding furiously for the tourist's film (which is probably on its way back home to Yokohama). Last week we said in these columns that Weetabix, who is actually funnier than he pretends to be, never heard the shot which blew him away. He had lived through so many crises that he must have thought he was a cat with 90 lives. "When it came to extricating himself from seemingly impossible positions, Allen could have taught Houdini a few tricks," said a former CSFB managing director.
July 20, 2001