New year, no deals? No need to stress
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New year, no deals? No need to stress

If one of my recent visits to the American Club is anything to go by, young bankers are just so het up about everything these days.

One fellow — obviously one of those wet behind the ears, fresh out of business school types — was going on about how he’d just got back from Christmas and found absolutely nothing to do at work.

This misguided chap was ranting to me about how he would miss the whole year’s bonus if the first few weeks didn’t turn out to be a blockbuster month.

So the current state of markets means it’s probably bye-bye bonus and sayonara to that tropical vacation or diamond ring he had promised his lady. He may even have to put off buying the latest model Porsche, oh the misery.

Things got so heated on his desk that before long there was shouting and name-calling, would you believe!

How things have changed. In my day we didn’t get our knickers in a twist over such trivial matters, especially not in expensive underwear.

If we had one deal a week, we’d be down at the bar, celebrating. If we didn’t have one deal a week, we’d be down at the bar, celebrating. None of this twiddling your thumbs, staring into computers nonsense.

This new year — and I do wish you the very best of times for 2015 — my astute advice will be for bankers to learn to relax more, because that whisky isn’t going to drink itself. Bottoms up!