Career building in the City is simple

Dear Desperately Seeking Sponsor,

If the secret to the universe is “42,” then the secret to building a professional network is this (drum roll please):

1. Show up.

2. Do a good job

3. Be well-liked.

And DASSSSIT. That’s the whole playbook. It’s not “DM strangers on LinkedIn for coffee”, not “work the room at industry events”, not “insert yourself artificially into a conversation just to be ‘one of the guys’”, and definitely not “pepper your seniors with emails containing irrelevant insights in a blatant attempt to suck up to them.”

You’re right to notice that some people seem born into this game. Some folks are polished, fluent in the argot and etiquette of office politics, and somehow always in the right place at the right time. They have professional rizz.

But the people who actually build influence over time — the ones others want to work with and promote — are those who show up consistently, make themselves indispensable, and don’t behave like jerks.

I’m glad you brought up LinkedIn. I get those “can I grab 30 minutes of your time for career advice?” messages constantly. And I don’t say this to discourage or disparage anyone, but 99% of the time I politely decline — not because I don’t care, but because I don’t have the bandwidth and I don’t know them. Unless the message comes through someone I trust or there’s a clear connection (e.g. they’re a bona fide Fulham FC season ticket holder), I will say no. So no, that’s not the secret either.

As for drinks events and networking mixers, I think they’re mostly a waste of time. You’re thrown in a room with hundreds of people and expected to connect. But connect over what? Unless you’ve actually worked on something together or have a shared professional context, you’re just handing out cards and hoping for serendipity. Most of it is professional junk food — easy to consume, quickly forgotten. I can’t think of a single person who has advanced their career or prospects from a networking event. In fact, you’re more likely to meet someone genuinely useful in your Brazilian jiu-jitsu class or spin sesh.

Which brings me back to substance. Relationships in this business, like real-life friendships, usually grow out of shared experience. You deliver excellent work, consistently. You meet deadlines. You anticipate problems. You make the life of the person above you easier. Slowly, that person starts to trust you. Then she starts to rely on you. Then, sometimes, she advocates for you. She feels she has a stake in your success. But you can’t engineer that. It happens because you’ve proved yourself over time.

You say you don’t have deals you can point to yet. Don’t sweat it. You’re still early in your career. Or as Cat Stevens sings in Father and Son:

(Except it’s not your fault, but I digress.)

The quality of your day-to-day performance matters even more at this stage — how you write, how you model, how you communicate under pressure, how you conduct yourself in the office, how you treat others, how efficiently you work.

Be known for getting it right and for working hard and for not rubbing people the wrong way, and people will take notice, even if they don’t say it out loud.

Your attitude matters too. Enthusiasm, energy, and a can-do mindset go a long way. Grumbling and dour sullenness are a huge turn-off for senior leadership. I’ve seen many careers go off the tracks because the person was just a sourpuss and deflated the atmosphere, even if they were making perceptive observations. Smile! Seriously.

I want to talk about your teammates. They don’t sound like very nice people. I don’t think they were being hostile; they probably were so self-engrossed they didn’t notice you. I’m sorry to say this, but indifference, solipsism, poor manners, and lack of consideration remain prevalent in a lot of teams. That doesn’t make it acceptable, but that’s the reality you must deal with.

If you feel stuck and unseen, you’re allowed to look elsewhere. Yes, internal moves can be political, but a well-handled internal conversation is less risky than staying silent and slowly burning out. Don’t let fear of your boss’s reaction stop you from managing your own career. I’ve said this before in this column: nobody cares as much about your career as you do.

In short, sponsorship helps, but it can’t be begged for. It arises organically, if you know what I mean. Mentorships that work are rarely the result of “Will you be my mentor?” conversations, just as romantic relationships rarely start from “Will you be my girlfriend/boyfriend?” once you get past fifth grade in elementary school.

Relationships evolve. Or more accurately, they blossom. You do good work, someone senior notices, and over time they invest more in you because they’ve seen you earn it. Intentionality around mentorship rarely works unless there’s real substance underneath it.

Finally, do you have impostor syndrome? I dunno. It’s fashionable (and falsely modest?) for people nowadays to say they have impostor syndrome. As I read it, you’re just observant and self-aware in an environment that doesn’t reward either quality. But lemme tell you: everyone feels like the real action is happening somewhere else at some point. What matters is how you play the part of the game that is in front of you — with competence, integrity, and persistence.

Trust me, that gets remembered. And in the long run, that’s what builds a network worth having.

Best,

Craig