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Yesterday morning I was lavishly slathering my breakfast bagel with butter when I remarked the close resemblance between its central feature – a big zero in the middle – and my commission revenues this week. The emptiness at the heart of my ring roll of salty bread bore a striking similarity to that at the core of Subsistence Broking in Austerity Britain during one of the industry’s Cyclical Downticks Bolted Onto A Structural Decline. It was time to take action.

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