Most bankers simply don’t have the time to be romantic because life is already hectic enough trying to juggle work and home. Throw into the mix flowers, chocolates and candlelit dinners, and it just gets ridiculous.
You see, the number one complaint I hear the most about our industry is that anyone sharing their life with a banker, regardless of their marital status, starts to feel a bit like a mistress. You know you will always be cast aside and put on silent whenever your partner receives a call from one of their true loves — a client or the boss.
I know this because TaiTai has been repeating the same line for more than thirty years, but not everyone can put up with that and not everyone has my charm to convince their partners to live with it.
A DCM banker I met in Café Grey recently certainly hadn't managed that, because he got dumped by his girlfriend last month, citing a volatile relationship and his preference for strategic admirers.
Strangely, though, he seemed perfectly content with his new status, as he explained to me in a way that only a banker could.
“I’m still experiencing loads of love because I’m structuring all these keepwell deeds that are like love letters that don't require a commitment. And then there’s the guarantees, which are like marriage certificates that lawfully bind a party together.”
God bless his poor soul.