How to set up a hedge fund

03 May 2012

A mate of mine is setting up a hedge fund — or trying to, at least. He’s done everything that could be expected of a man in his position. He has rented some fabulously swanky space in Mayfair & St James, given his fund a pretentious name of ambiguous pronunciation, engaged the services of a receptionist of breathtaking beauty and insouciance, spunked a load of his money on ill-advised corner-cutting exercises and then spunked a whole load more backtracking on them, employed several loafer friends of his as advisers, managers and operational stock-wallahs and written an investment philosophy that gives pure wind the appearance of solidity. Now all that remains for him is the demeaning necessity of finding some money to manage.

"Ah yes, the money. Blasted nuisance that bit, actually," he confessed when I asked him whether he had any. "How much do you need to kick off?" I enquired. "Oh, about 10 I suppose is enough to be getting on with," he replied airily. "And how much do ...

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