Sometimes I feel like I’m in Barceloan-a…

The taxis were still operating when JP Morgan threw its hotly anticipated bash at the W Hotel on Tuesday night, although they might not have been by the time some of the guests left, according to bleary-eyed GlobalCapital sources.

Still, no one had trouble making it to Barceloneta’s strip of beach bars on the first night. True to French form, BNP Paribas announced its ambitions in the securitization market by filling Bestial with tables of cheese, before a good chunk of partygoers decamped to Shoko to hear the DJ play 'Wannabe' by the Spice Girls. Perhaps a tribute to the ABS market’s optimistic spirit?

Buses were on hand on Wednesday night to scoot people up to Montjuic for Rabobank’s classy do, but by the end of the night, Citi was the only game in town, as usual. There were more than a few stragglers when Opium kicked out at about 5am — special mentions in the last team standing category go to Pramerica, Macquarie, Citi (of course), and Miley Cyrus. Rumour has it she asked Lloyds' Bob Paterson for his autograph.

But striking taxistas meant some delegates had to employ initiative to get home, like the banker who paid a lucky motorcyclist (OK — moped rider) €50 to take him home on the back of his vehicle. His chauffeur was ecstatic, and the banker in question can sleep soundly tonight in the knowledge that his largesse/desperation has reportedly paid for a new bicycle for a Catalunyan child.

Those that did manage to make it into a taxi didn’t necessarily have a smooth ride. Having run out of cash, one conference delegate left their Blackberry as security while they found an ATM, only to forget to reclaim it. Missing collateral: poor form for a securitization banker — potential clients should take heed.

And if anyone wanted a smooth flight home, they were dreaming. An investor relations manager who shall remain nameless managed to hold up one flight after cheekily trying to circumvent Easyjet's draconianly easy luggage rules. It seems there are some rules even ABS professionals can’t find a way round.

Meanwhile, another conference cohort endured a 40 minute wait to check in for Norwegian Air’s flight to Heathrow, only to be finally told the flight had closed. To the angry man who startled the check-in attendant into remedial action with some top-notch fist slamming — your fellow passengers are very grateful.

Any golden nuggets of conference gossip? Answers on a postcard to yvesmersch@ecb.com