Every year, Invisso's Global ABS in Barcelona is a hive of activity: the rush to get registered; walking through the totally performative security guards; catching up with old friends; and listening to many excellent panellists.
But the real action, at least as far as GlobalCapital is concerned, is in the weird and wonderful giveaways on display in the exhibit hall.
After the success of the SF Vegas Swag Awards earlier this year, the European version of this very official *totally unofficial* review is here.
Chocolate Wars
We begin with a battle over confectionary. Afme has its "proper" coffee stand every year, and there's been some ice cream moving around in a truck. But there are also a number of exhibitors looking to win you over through fancy chocolates.
As the most unhealthy member of GlobalCapital's editorial team, this journalist is well-suited to encourage you to get your hands on either Matheson's Lily O'Briens chocolates or Apex's Butlers offering. Preferably before they melt.
Ego masseurs and ESG
If you're a Very Important Person at Global ABS but you don't know how to make sure everyone knows, head down to BNY Mellon for their eye-catching sunglasses.
There is also the added incentive of 100ml of olive oil (as modelled by CLO reporter, Victoria Thiele). Crucially, because you're a Very Important Person who doesn't have time to take a suitcase to Barcelona, its allowed in your carry-on.
If showing off is not your thing, perhaps being green is (not that you'd do that to show off, of course). Law firm Hogan Lovells has a tiny plant pot that will blossom to become a wonderful addition to any garden (as if journalists can afford gardens — Ed).
Sticking with the ESG theme, corporate services firm Vantru has some keep-cups to help you do your bit to reduce waste. Plus, there's a mini rugby ball to throw at juniors who got your coffee order wrong, or squeeze in frustration when the bonus isn't what you deserve (dual-purpose and reusable = green).
Sock it to me!
No one know what the securitization industry will look like in 50 years, but one thing we do know is that the rating agency sock battle will continue to be an annual event long after today's originators and structurers have retired into the sunset.
Both Morningstar DBRS and U.S. Bank are back with familiar designs. Top tip: DBRS for Christmas meetings, US Bank for summer. The latter's socks are that bit thinner.
Toddler heaven
There is a wealth of cuddly offerings this year, perfect to bring back to any toddlers who desperately missed you this week.
George Smith, European securitization reporter at GlobalCapital, is father to a nine-month old. So photo credits for this collection from Euronext, TMF Group, Weil Gotshal & Manges, TISF and Maples go to George.
Mildly useful
As always, there's a good selection of handy gadgets no one would ever actually buy. First, Morgan Lewis have a plug-in mini-mouse to help when you're on the move and low on space. Also great for anyone with extremely small hands.
Alter Domus has a very sturdy, foldable phone holder. If you're calling through your phone and want to look smart, this can be combined to great effect with fiduciary services firm Circumference's phone light. GlobalCapital understands this is what all the TikTokers do to look nice.
There's another Circumference giveaway that really puts the "mild" in "mildly useful". This blow-up palm tree can be used when you're in the pool to hold your drink. Our intrepid reporters inform has that it has been tested extensively in the bath by the husband of one of the firm's exhibitors.
Winner — Iguana, Walkers Global
Despite so many good entries, particularly in the cuddly toy category, there can only be one winner.
Walkers Global's Iguana (or is it a dragon?) is the 2024 Swag champion at Global ABS. So popular have they been that just about your only chance to get your hands on one now is by bribing the exhibitors to give you one they've kept under the table.
