Copying and distributing are prohibited without permission of the publisher.


Bankers and football are a perfect match

Brazil football px 230
By Taipan
12 Jun 2014

If you ask me what is the most important characteristic of an investment banker, I would say the ability to see the positive side of things, no matter how terrible and ridiculous the situation really is.

Company in the red? That’s a high growth start-up for you. Record low share price? The prologue to a rebound. Dodgy financial statements? Innocent until proven guilty. Stuck with TaiTai for the rest of my life? Great.

But even this old dog, who has been through countless capital markets-style-pants-down situations, was stumped when a former colleague told me how he hadn't slept in 76 hours. The poor bloke had just executed three consecutive overnight trades.

“How are you even sane after all that crap?” I asked in a slightly bemused fashion.

“It’s not THAT bad, I managed to crash for a 20 minute power nap and it’s actually been pretty good practice,” he replied, sounding very genuine.

“And what exactly are you practicing for?” I asked, even more at a loss than before.

“Well it just means that I’ll get used to the lack of sleep when the World Cup starts. Do a trade, watch a match and go back to work when it ends. Keep the deals rolling baby."

You can't argue with that logic. The next generation is obviously in good stead, even if the same cannot be said about the England national team.

So Taipan will not be getting up at the crack of dawn to watch those overpaid schoolboys attempt to play the Beautiful Game. Especially not as TaiTai will spend the whole 90 minutes asking when David Beckham is going to come on.

By Taipan
12 Jun 2014